agentpluto (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
agentpluto) wrote2014-08-13 02:17 pm
agentpluto) wrote2014-08-13 02:17 pm
an explanation to my recent absence, hiatus announcement, and apologies
If you clicked the link on my plurk to get here in order to read this, I just want to thank you ahead of time.
Now, first of all I want to apologize for my unannounced disappearance right after my announcement that I was back. Things got really difficult all of a sudden and I just haven't been able to get the energy or into the mindset to do tags.
Basically, the short but still long version is, I've been having a lot of trouble with my relationship with my mom lately. Actually, for the past couple years, but I only really noticed how bad things were while I was in the hospital psych unit. I won't get too deep into it, but essentially, she's not been supportive, and the way things are in our relationship, the way she's been acting toward me has been nothing but hurtful for me. And last week I had it out with her over the phone, confronting her about her shitty behaviour and everything (for the second or third time), but she got all defensive and basically threw everything back at me, and just. In three months, her attitude hasn't changed, and I was really hurt by the conversation. Again. I hung up on her, I was so upset and angry.
Since then, my depression has been a bit overwhelming again, to the point that I've started cutting again which ultimately just makes me more upset, frustrated, and plain angry. So...it's been difficult to do a lot of things. Tagging is one of such things. So I think I'm going to officially go on hiatus for probably another week and a half. Hopefully in that time, I'll feel a little better. By then I should have less school stress on top of me as well as the depression, so writing may be possible again.
I'm so, so sorry for all the people I owe tags and plots to. I feel terrible for just disappearing and being so slow with tags, but I need to do what's best for my mental health.
tl;dr: my depression has gotten worse again, so I'm taking a bit of a hiatus again in hopes to get my writing muse back.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you did. I love all you guys. <3
Now, first of all I want to apologize for my unannounced disappearance right after my announcement that I was back. Things got really difficult all of a sudden and I just haven't been able to get the energy or into the mindset to do tags.
Basically, the short but still long version is, I've been having a lot of trouble with my relationship with my mom lately. Actually, for the past couple years, but I only really noticed how bad things were while I was in the hospital psych unit. I won't get too deep into it, but essentially, she's not been supportive, and the way things are in our relationship, the way she's been acting toward me has been nothing but hurtful for me. And last week I had it out with her over the phone, confronting her about her shitty behaviour and everything (for the second or third time), but she got all defensive and basically threw everything back at me, and just. In three months, her attitude hasn't changed, and I was really hurt by the conversation. Again. I hung up on her, I was so upset and angry.
Since then, my depression has been a bit overwhelming again, to the point that I've started cutting again which ultimately just makes me more upset, frustrated, and plain angry. So...it's been difficult to do a lot of things. Tagging is one of such things. So I think I'm going to officially go on hiatus for probably another week and a half. Hopefully in that time, I'll feel a little better. By then I should have less school stress on top of me as well as the depression, so writing may be possible again.
I'm so, so sorry for all the people I owe tags and plots to. I feel terrible for just disappearing and being so slow with tags, but I need to do what's best for my mental health.
tl;dr: my depression has gotten worse again, so I'm taking a bit of a hiatus again in hopes to get my writing muse back.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, if you did. I love all you guys. <3